Losing Your Memory
by AgentMaryMargaretSkitz
Summary: Post Season 2- Amaya saves the Leonard Snart who died at the Oculus, but his rescue comes with an unexpected price to pay.
1. Rescue

**This idea hit me a long time ago, and I didn't get a chance to write it down until I had my spring break. I'm finally going to post this in two parts, which I hope to have uploaded before Aruba airs. I haven't yet seen Doomworld, but what I heard out of it has me feeling Destiny all over again. If anyone is familiar with my other fic, Immortality, this can be seen as sort of prequel to it- something I realized as I was finishing it up.**

 **Set in a post S2 AU because given me, I align with canon in a blue moon.**

* * *

A time storm had been what they were calling it. Temporal energies that had been thrown into a chaotic mess by something- a change in destiny, an unexpected outcome, a severe time aberration. Unless the catalyst of the event was dealt with, a time storm could gradually expand out of the temporal zone until it pushed into time and history itself to create a destructive event in order to neutralize itself. According to Mick and Rip, the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki had been the results of a time storm that hadn't been contained in time.

Now, the Waverider had come across a large one. They had been prepared to extinguish the threat until Gideon detected signs of life within it. Sara had stopped the planned destruction and directed the attention towards the center of the storm, the catalyst of the madness. Suspended in the temporal zone, surrounded by thick bands of chaotic time energy, was Leonard Snart. The very same Leonard Snart who had given his life up at the Oculus. His sacrifice had been the event to create it, since Ray was the one who was supposed to die there. With the knowledge that their formerly dead teammate was at the eye of the storm, wiping him out was no longer an option.

"There may be another way!" Rip had shouted over Mick and Stein's heated argument of what to do regarding Snart. "But it has risks."

"Keep talking," Sara said, leaning against the center console. Jax mirrored her action.

"We could position the Waverider as close as possible to the eye of the storm and Mr. Snart," the former captain explained. "Someone can then drop down and retrieve him from the time storm. Removing him would cause the storm to be neutralized, and for him to escape it."

"No source, no power," Jax reasoned.

"Precisely," Rip nodded. "As I said though, it has risks."

"Yeah, the temporal zone suck when you're in it without a time storm," Ray said offhandedly.

Rip fixed him with a questioning look before continuing the conversation. "There's going to be an immense amount of temporal energy circulating Mr. Snart. Get too wrapped up in it, and the consequences could have severe side effects. Are there any volunteers who wish to be bold and retrieve him?"

Mick, Sara, and Amaya all claimed the position at the same time. When they realized what had happened, three looks of determined stubbornness were exchanged.

"He's my best friend," Mick declared firmly.

Sara crossed her arms. "I was the last one to see him alive. I should have taken his place and had him get you out of there."

"You know he'd have never let that happen, Blondie."

"Then maybe I should have knocked him out. You were awake not long after we got off that platform, you could have made the hard call and taken him."

"Enough!" Amaya yelled, silencing the quarrel. "I'm going."

"Why?" Mick frowned. "You never even knew Snart, not really."

"But all of you knew of him, or at least heard of him," she replied. "I have no knowledge about this man, or an emotional attachment like you two."

She directed that at Sara and Mick before turning to Rip. "I'll know when to turn back if I have to. I can do this."

Rip nodded. "Any objections to Ms. Jiwe going to rescue Mr. Snart?"

No one said anything, although Mick looked like he really wanted to say something.

"Then it's settled," Rip said as he made towards the captain's chair. "Prep Ms. Jiwe for the mission. I'll get us into position."

* * *

It took a while for Amaya to get ready to enter the temporal zone and the time storm. The other members of the team all chipped in to prepare her. Sara offered to take Amaya's place as she helped the other woman into a suit Ray and Stein had gotten Gideon to manufacture to protect her from the temporal zone, but Amaya shut the idea down. She could tell that Sara felt something for the man who was trapped within the storm. Her judgement, as well as Mick's, would be clouded if things went sour in the rescue.

"Remember to be careful with the extraction," Rip reminded Amaya once she was down in the cargo bay with everyone. "Exposing him to the storm itself outside the eye could increase the power and create a catastrophic event in the timeline."

"That's not going to happen," she promised.

"Don't take too long in there," Ray added. "The suit can only remain stable in the conditions out there for a limited amount of time."

"There won't be a problem. I can do this."

Sara smiled. "Then let's get Leonard back."

Everyone got into their positions. Before the doors were opened, Amaya pulled off the helmet to the suit. "One last thing."

She walked over to Mick and kissed him.

"What was that for?" he asked, looking a bit stunned, but not unhappy.

"If I don't make it back, I don't want to die thinking of the things I didn't do," she answered.

Behind her, Sara inhaled sharply. Amaya looked at her quickly, then back to Mick. "But hopefully, to be continued."

Mick nodded. "You'll come back. Otherwise I'm coming after both a' you."

She smiled and replaced the helmet, walking back to the closed cargo bay doors. "Now I'm ready."

"Good luck, Ms. Jiwe," Rip said. "Everyone, hold on."

He pressed his hand to the panel against the doors. Amaya took a deep breath as the chaotic green swirls of the temporal zone and the time storm greeted her. Activating the propulsion system of the suit, she made her way out into the territory. She could see the swirls of time energy, and the small space in the center where a man in a blue jacket was hovering. Amaya adjusted herself so she was moving directly towards him. A tear formed in her glove along the journey, right along her index finger towards the thumb. Neverless, she persisted.

As she got closer to Snart, she sighed in relief, feeling confident that things were going to resolve just fine. Even though he seemed to be frozen in place, Gideon had detected life signs. Still, the expression on Snart's face was troubling, as he looked like he was being tormented. Perhaps the explosion that had sent him here injured him, although there were no external injuries visible. They could be internal though, but Amaya would have to get him back to the Waverider and Gideon to see if that was the case.

Reaching forward, Amaya grabbed Snart by the one hand he had outstretched. She didn't realize that she had grasped him with the hand that was covered with the torn glove. Her skin made contact with that of his hand. It felt cold as ice before it almost instantly becoming burning hot. Amaya gritted her teeth as the feeling of something akin to the power she felt in her totem slam into her, but she did not let go of Snart. She simply took a few deep breaths before pulling him up and out of the eye of the storm.

The whirling temporal energy dissipated the more she extracted him, and it had nearly all vanished by the time his entire body was freed from the eye. Once he was out, she began to fly back toward the Waverider. While she had been struggling to get towards him on the first trip, the return journey was a breeze. Oddly enough, she felt stronger, and she hadn't even used her totem. Maybe it had been the storm hindering her the first time, or she was just in the right direction of the energy on her way back?

As soon as she reached the Waverider, she let herself back into the cargo bay. Once inside, Amaya set Snart on the ground as Nate closed the doors behind her. The man's frozen muscles went limp and lax in a sprawl on the floor once the Waverider was sealed again. Sara immediately rushed toward the rescued man with Mick, checking to see if he was okay. Amaya stood up slowly as a splitting headache suddenly attacked her. The world began to blur as numerous voices, none of them belonging to the team, started shouting all at once in various languages. She couldn't decipher what they were saying until she started one calling her name. They faded away, and her vision straightened out for her to make out Mick helping her upright. It took a second for Amaya to realize she had almost fallen face first on the floor.

"You okay?" he asked. "Nothing happened out there?"

"No," she shook her head. "I'm fine. Snart needs to see Gideon."

"She's right," Sara called out. "He's barely got a pulse."

Amaya nodded to Mick. He moved away from her to assist Sara to getting Snart up to the med bay. Once they were gone, the other team members congratulated her on the successful rescue. As they all moved to follow Mick and Sara to the med bay, Amaya fell to the back. The splitting headache had died down to a throbbing ache, and hopefully it would go away soon.

* * *

"Hey there, Sleeping Beauty."

Leonard turned to the right to see Sara sitting upright on one of the beds in the med bay. Mick and the rest of the team surrounded her. There were two people among them who he didn't recognize. But none of it made sense. He was supposed to be in bits of atoms, to have gone up with the Oculus. Yet he still felt alive. His muscles felt sore, but aside from that, he was fine.

"Ow," he croaked, his throat dry.

Sara shook her head. Mick and Ray both smiled. Rip didn't look fazed, as if he had expected nothing less from him. "Welcome back, Mr. Snart."

"I should be dead," he muttered. "The Oculus…"

"Didn't kill you," Mick finished. "Your stubborn ass got sucked into the temporal zone, except it was supposed to be Haircut going there."

"What?"

The others explained the phenomena of time storms to him while the new guy, Nate, passed him a glass of water. Apparently, he'd nearly caused destruction to occur within reality because he had been holding down the failsafe when the Oculus blew. They didn't know how much time had passed for him, and Leonard didn't either given his last memory was the blast going off at the Oculus. For the team, it had been a year. They had assumed he was dead until the Waverider had encountered the time storm and discovered him at the eye of it.

"So how'd I get out?" he asked once they got to that part.

Mick pointed to the new woman who was next to him. "Amaya. She's the one who saved you."

"We configured a suit after she insisted on going to save you," Ray explained. "She flew out and pulled you out of the eye of the storm before getting you back here."

"Why?" Leonard asked, looking at Amaya. "We don't even know each other."

"That's why," she shrugged. "Mick and Sara both wanted to go, but I told them someone who didn't know you would be better. If things went wrong, I wouldn't have been emotionally compromised."

A tactical approach. Leonard nodded, impressed. "Guess I owe you a thank you."

"Welcome back," Amaya smirked.

After she said this, a grimace set on her face and she shuddered. Leonard noticed her place a hand to her temple. To his surprise, Mick was the one who looked at over at her with concern. "Amaya?"

"I'm going to go lie down," she said, excusing herself as she left the room quickly.

Mick was now frowning in the direction she had left. Leonard made a mental note to ask him about her later.

Sara broke the silence that had descended onto the med bay. "So, want to hear what you've missed?"

"Anything interesting?"

Ray grinned. "Oh, you have no idea. Sara, you should tell him about the twenties and Capone."

Leonard raised his eyebrows. "You met Al Capone?"

"If you'd been there, you'd have probably stolen his wallet," Sara teased.

"That all you see me as, assassin? A pickpocket?"

"So you wouldn't have stolen it?"

"I never said that."

* * *

 **End of Part 1. Part 2 will have some more Foxfire moments, and angst.**

 **Reviews=Love**


	2. Loss

**And now here's the angst!**

 **TBH- my greatest fear all season is that Amaya was going to lose her memories of the Waverider and the Legends, and now I'm afraid that's going to happen when they bring her back from Doomworld.**

 **It was during this chapter that it really hit me that this could be the prequel to the immortal!Leonard fic.**

* * *

 _Three Days Later_

Things had quickly returned to normal on the Waverider once Leonard Snart had returned to them. He had been filled in on the events that he had missed, and was fitting back into the team as though the Oculus had never happened. When he found out that there was a statue of Mick in Washington DC, he had requested Rip for them to make a pit stop to it for "reasons". Rip had agreed to the request, as he was curious about the new existence of the statue himself.

Mick and Leonard had gotten past the whole self-sacrificing issue without having to fight it out again, although sharp words were exchanged between them. In the end, Mick was just happy to have the Leonard Snart he knew back from the dead to remain too angry with him. In addition to patching up things with Mick, Leonard and Sara had fallen back into their usual rhythm and banter quickly. However, it seemed that there was more between the crook and the assassin now. Mick had seen Leonard slip into Sara's bunk the previous night, while Ray shared that he had witnessed him leave that very morning, followed shortly by Sara.

"Think they're something now?" he'd badgered Mick as they entered the kitchen. "Like together?"

"Not my damn business," Mick growled in reply, although he knew that they definitely were. He'd been expecting it to happen before the Oculus even happened, and it now seemed long overdue. Still, he wouldn't spill the beans on them to the rest of the team. It was their secret to tell and the team would probably figure it out soon anyways.

"Who's together?" Amaya asked from where she was stood at the counter, a half peeled orange in her hand.

"Sara and Snart," Mick told her as Ray beat him to the food replicator. "Haircut won't stop gossiping about them."

"There's something going on between them," Ray insisted. "You can't miss the looks they give each other. I know when something's going on, and I'll figure it out if it kills me."

"Blondie'd kill you first for snooping," Mick chuckled. "Or Snart, depending on who catches you first."

"Hey, I'm sneaky!"

Amaya pressed her lips together to suppress a smile. "Not exactly."

"You and Mick have been spending too much time together," Ray grumbled as he took his sandwich from the replicator.

The woman shrugged and shot a smile at Mick. "I'm not sorry. He's good company."

"At least you're not holding a knife to my throat these days," he replied.

Amaya's smile grew wider as she shook her head at the memory. Since Leonard's rescue, they'd talked. Both were still feeling out where they stood. But they did agree that the next place they landed, they would go somewhere. Given Leonard's insistence to see Mick's statue, they were likely going to end up in Washington DC. Mick was actually looking forward to it.

He made to move away from the counter when the orange fell from Amaya's hands. When it hit the counter, Mick looked back. Her smile had vanished as she squeezed her eyes shut. She held her hands against the sides of her head before sinking to her knees slowly on the floor.

"Amaya?" Ray moved beside Mick. "Are you okay?"

In response, she opened her mouth and screamed. It was full of pain, like she was being hurt by something. Her hands moved to cover her ears more as she screamed again. Mick watched, paralyzed and unsure of what to do. Amaya screamed once more before falling backwards, snapping Mick out of his spell. He hurried over to her, his eyes widening at the sight of the blood trickling out of her nose.

"Haircut, get help," he ordered as he picked up the fallen woman.

Ray nodded and ran out of the kitchen. Mick exited as well, but headed toward the med bay with Amaya. She was shaking a little, but her nosebleed seemed to have stopped. Her eyes opened slowly, and Mick looked down at her. She seemed dazed and puzzled.

"Mick…" she groaned, barely focusing on him.

"What happened?" he asked, stopping momentarily.

He didn't get an answer from her. Amaya's eyes closed again before she could get out an answer.

Mick picked up the pace to get to the med bay.

* * *

Opening her eyes felt like a herculean effort for Amaya. Once she was finally able to, she was greeted with the sight of Rip and Mick standing over her in the med bay. The last thing Amaya remembered was being in the kitchen with the latter and Ray when another one of the headaches had hit her. Since rescuing Snart, it had been her eighth. They didn't have any pattern to them, coming out of nowhere to bring splitting pain that filled her head, images that appeared and disappeared too quickly to be identified, and voices shouting at the top of their lings. In the last three instances, her nose had started to bleed during them. She had passed out in her room when the one before the latest hit her.

"Hey," she mumbled.

Rip and Mick both looked down at her. The two men looked worried, and Mick looked like he'd gotten the worse possible news ever.

"How long has this been happening?" he asked.

Amaya exhaled slowly. "Since I went out to save Snart. I thought they were migraines before they started getting worse."

"You're lucky that's only been happening now," Rip told her. "It's a miracle you're still alive at this point."

She shook her head. "What?"

"Your rescue of Mr. Snart exposed your body to a massive amount of temporal energy," Gideon explained from above. "Your body absorbed this energy, and is now being attacked by it. It's slowly moving to collect within your brain. The attacks you have been experiencing are a symptom of the energy moving towards it."

"My glove," Amaya closed her eyes briefly. "It tore out there a little. That's how it got in, isn't it?"

"I'm afraid that is not the energy signature that I am detecting," the AI commented. "It had been reading the same signature as that of the time storm's temporal energy. I picked up trace amounts of it on Mr. Snart after he was brought aboard."

"So how come he hasn't experienced any attacks?" Mick demanded.

"I believe the explosion of the Oculus impacted him on a cellular level, Mr. Rory," Gideon replied. "The scan I performed on Mr. Snart showed the changes. The exposure to temporal energy at the blast somehow rendered his cells immune to the effects of it. However, that does not mean it can collect and transfer to another host."

"Which was me," Amaya realized, remembering her glove again. When she had grabbed Snart, she remembered the change of temperature in his hand. The temporal energy must have transferred then.

"So how does it come out?" Mick asked Gideon.

The AI was silent for a few beats. "There is a way to remove it, although I do not think Ms. Jiwe, yourself, or the rest of the team will like the consequences, Mr. Rory."

"Just tell me what'll happen," Amaya snapped. She didn't want to tiptoe around this. Whatever it was, she could take it.

"The temporal energy is attracted to your recent memories- the ones that involve time travel and interaction with it. The energy can be removed, but only by removing the memories themselves. They will be unable to be recovered unless you experience time travel again. Unfortunately, if those memories return, so will the temporal energy within you and the attacks you have been suffering."

Amaya inhaled shakily. She could survive this, but only if she forgot everything she'd gone through on the Waverider and everyone she had met here.

"And what happens if she doesn't get rid of the energy?" Sara's voice joined in as she and the remaining team members entered.

Amaya frowned as everyone filed in. "What are you doing here?"

"We've been listening in after Dr. Palmer informed us what had happened," Stein revealed with a glare at Rip. "Some people decided not to inform the rest of us of Ms. Jiwe's situation."

"I was not aware of the consequences surrounding the removal of the energy until now," Rip fired back.

"Gideon, we're having words later about you not telling me what the Oculus did to me," Leonard drawled from where he stood beside Sara. "But what happens if my rescuer doesn't get the energy taken out."

"It will continue to collect inside her skull and brain," the AI explained as everyone's face dropped. "The attacks will persist with visions and voices from the timeline, as well as the nosebleeds and loss of consciousness. However, they will increase in duration as well. Based on current scans, I doubt Ms. Jiwe will likely survive past two more attacks. Her death because of this will result in catastrophic effects on the timeline and the deaths of multiple individuals earlier than they should occur in this timeline. I believe you are familiar or will become familiar with some of them- Oliver Queen, Laurel Lance, John Diggle, Caitlin Snow, Barry Allen, Julian Albert, Lisa Snart, Lily Stein, and Dick Grayson."

While the others were unfamiliar with Julian or this Dick, the rest of the names meant something to the other members of the team. Sara shuddered at the thought of losing her sister earlier than she had. Leonard had gone stiff at the mention of Lisa. Ray appeared to be distinctly rattled, while Stein looked like he was going to be sick.

As soon as she saw the faces of her teammates, Amaya knew she had to give up her memories. She couldn't put her friends through losing people they knew and cared about. Refusing the treatment would mean she would die knowing about everything she had been through, but it would destroy the present state of the timeline. Only agreeing to forget would let the casualties be reduced. It would make returning to 1942 easier too then, as if she had never left. She felt selfish for thinking like that, but she knew she was not wrong.

"Guess I have to forget then," she sighed, looking out at the team.

"No," Mick insisted. "There's got to be another way."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Rory," Gideon apologized. "But I'm afraid there is no other option."

The man looked defeated by Gideon's words. Rip left Amaya's side to walk over towards the replicator. A heavy stillness fell over the team now. Amaya swallowed back the lump in her throat. Despite everything, she had become attached to these people, and cared about them. Knowing she wouldn't miss them after losing her memories made her feel worse.

"So this is goodbye then," she said, staring out at them. "You could have easily taken me back to 1942, but you let me stay. You allowed me to seek justice for Rex's death. I got to see incredible things across time. Even if I have to forget them, these have been some of the best days of my life. Thank you for them."

"I should be the one thanking you," Leonard stated. "You were the one who saved me, and now this is happening to you."

"If you're going to try and blame yourself for this, then don't," Amaya ordered as she saw the expression of barely masked guilt on his face. "If I hadn't done this, then right now it would be Mick or Sara right here. With me, it's for the best. I was always going to have to go back one day."

"Feels too soon though," Jax said.

"I know you won't remember us," Nate told her. "But we won't forget you Amaya."

Rip returned with a sort of band attached to multiple wires that he placed around her head. "Whenever you're ready, Ms. Jiwe."

"Thank you, Rip."

He nodded. Amaya laid back, noticing that Mick hadn't moved from where he was standing beside her. Reaching out, she clasped his gloved hand. He looked down at her, surprised.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "So much for the plans."

"Don't worry about it," he told her. "You can probably still see it. Maybe you'll go there with the JSA."

"No," she shook her head. "Don't drop me back there. Take me to Zambesi. Bring me back home. Make up a story for the others to tell me how I came back."

Mick nodded. Amaya could feel an ache starting in her temples, a sure sign that another attack was imminent.

"I care about you," he said suddenly, meeting her eyes. "I care about you a lot."

"Ms. Jiwe, I'm detecting a movement of temporal energy within you," Gideon warned. "The procedure will need to begin soon."

The clock was running down on her time here. Amaya took a deep breath and looked at everybody one last time, saving Mick for last. There were something she needed to say to him too, and she had to do it now. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"I care about you too," she smiled before steeling her features. "Okay, Gideon, I'm ready."

"Yes, Ms. Jiwe. I'm sorry, but this is going to hurt."

A sharp pain struck her in the back of the neck, right at the base of her skull. Amaya cried out before the area went numb. Her eyes started to feel heavily a moment later. She attempted to fight it, but failed. As soon as her eyes closed on Mick and the team watching over her, unconsciousness set in.

* * *

Not long after Amaya's eyes closed, her hand fell away from grasping Mick's. The man stared as it slid from his to hang limp over the edge of the bed. His eyes moved up to her face and the calm expression on it. If he didn't know any better, he would have assumed that she was asleep. Unfortunately, Mick knew what was happening to her right now was much worse.

He didn't want to spend another minute in the med bay, not with the whole group there. Without a word, he turned away from them and stormed out. Sara shouted after him. Snart told her to just let him go, something Mick was thankful for. He didn't really feel up to being around the others right now. At least he had someone back who understood.

When he had been Chronos under the Time Masters, they had been prepping Mick to one day become one of the Hunters. Once Chronos had squashed Rip's attempt to save his family and defeat Savage, he would then join them. But there was a process in which the Hunters had their emotions stripped away from them. Mick was willing to give up a lot to go through that right now. Feelings just seemed to keep getting him hurt over and over again.

Later, when he was sulking in his room after burning something, Snart came by. He told Mick that the procedure had been completed, and Amaya was currently under sedation. Sara was piloting a course to 1942 Zambesi, a few weeks after Amaya had boarded the Waverider. They had managed to fabricate a decent cover story for her family and friends to hear and tell her. Rip wanted to know if Mick wanted to join them in bringing her back to her village.

"No," Mick shook his head. "Tell him no."

Snart nodded and made to leave, but stopped. "I'm sorry about her, Mick. This happened because of me."

"She told you not to blame yourself," Mick snapped. "So don't."

His friend gave no reaction. "You loved her, huh?"

"I'm not talking about that shit with you," Mick snarled with a glare.

"Fair enough," Snart admitted, nodding. "You're not alone though. The others are going to miss her too."

With that, he left Mick alone.

Later, when no one was around, Mick snuck into the med bay. He wanted to see Amaya one last time before they dropped her off. There was nothing to be said, and there never could be again. So he slipped something into her pocket and left after kissing her forehead. He pretended like nothing had happened when Rip asked again if he wanted to accompany the others in bringing Amaya home to her village. Still, he denied the request and decided to stay behind.

* * *

 _1943_

Amaya Jiwe's eyes snapped open in the middle of the night, her dream already starting to fade from her memory. She had been in Chicago, and it had looked just like the pictures in the magazines. Since the JSA had stationed her back home with the war spreading into Africa and then the illness that had fractured her memories when she was stricken with it, she occasionally had odd dreams. She would travel to strange places. There were always the same people with her, including a blonde in white, a man on fire, another who could turn to steel, and a third who could shrink. But in her last dream, she had been with the man who had a rough exterior, but she somehow felt there was a goodness deep within him.

Reaching over to the small table beside her, Amaya pulled the lighter off of it. In the moonlight, she could only just catch the shine off its metal surface. When she had recovered from the illness, it had been in her pocket. No one knew where it had come from, and she didn't recall anyone in the JSA, not even Rex, ever giving her a lighter. But for some reason, she felt as if it was important. She flicked it, the flame dancing before her eyes.

In another century, the man who had given it to her was sitting in the brig of a pirate's ship with two of his compatriots, hoping that she was happy.

* * *

 **End**

 **Reviews=Love, and I hope none of you are too angry with me.**


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